First of all, choosing to start a therapy is a brave step. Its means you care for your well-being. Decision to take a first step to start your therapy can be overwhelming, intimidating, hard, really hard. Like entering into the unknown. A good therapist understands these concerns and ensure you feel comfortable to share without being judged.
Let me share things that you should know when you choose to go to therapy:
>> Why do I need therapy?
The simple answer to this is like asking why do I need to go to doctor for my physical illness? or why do I to work out? It’s for your wellness. We don’t take pain, anger, stress, anxiety, depression as seriously we take flu, fracture or physical pain. Just as you want to take care of your physical health. Therapy helps you take care of your mental health. Mental issues can affect your life equally or even more than your physical issues.
>> Will Therapy help me?
Definitely yes. Sometimes we don’t realise that the reason for our behaviour, our thoughts, our actions or even our physical illness can be our mental and emotional imbalance (No matter how small that is). Therapy helps you deal with your emotional and mental issues and helps you bring back the balance in your life.
>> Therapy is only for unwell.
Not necessarily. Therapy doesn’t always have to be when things go totally out of control or when you start reacting to the issues. Therapy can also be a preventive step towards your mental wellness. Instead of waiting till things to go out of control, therapy can help you take precautionary measures in dealing with your challenges, issues and even your relationships. It can also help you as a guide for your goals, find directions in your life even if you are anxious and unsure about it, figure out the best tools and ways to achieve your goals.
>> You are not always going to like your therapy sessions
We have these limiting beliefs and unhealthy ways of coping with our mental issues. Somehow a lot of us have become comfortable with this coping mechanism, so when you start unwinding yourself with your therapist, you start feeling out of control. Things might get worse before they get better and during this phase you might feel like quitting therapy. This is when you have to hold on your urge to quit and keep going. Quitting can be easier in the short term, but these issues can surface again in the long run. It is also better to go through this discomfort and let the therapist take your through the whole process to help you reach a clearer place and so that you have a better understanding of yourself and to learn healthy ways to cope with it.
You can always talk to your therapist if you are feeling overwhelmed. A good therapist will adjust the pace of your sessions according to your comfort as well as provide you with ways to manage your emotions.
>> Choosing your therapist.
I know finding a right therapist can sound overwhelming. Sometimes you might not like the therapist after the first session. It is alright to change your therapist. A first session is not a lifelong commitment, you don’t need to stick with it if it wasn’t a good fit.
Therapy is all about the relationship. When you find the right fit, it can be incredibly helpful. I know that the thought of being vulnerable and talk about your issues feels so uncomfortable, but when you get an hour exclusively on you, that makes your feel safe to talk about your feelings and makes you feel heard and accepted is a sign that some things are going really well.
>> Its ok to go blank during sessions.
There will be times when you have so much to talk about, but you go blank. You should still go to your therapy sessions. You can use these sessions to calm down and for relaxation or sometimes sessions like this helps you dive deeper in your previous issues or what’s going on inside you at the moment. When you are unsure or nervous about what to say in your early sessions, you can have a list or make notes of things. Your therapist will help you structure it and cover it during the sessions.
>> During the sessions
Honesty is the best policy. This is the rare opportunity to be completely honest without the fear of being judged. Nothing is off limits, don’t be afraid or embarrassed to bring up even the most uncomfortable ones. Don’t expect huge results in every session. Therapy sessions are a small step to towards a deeper understanding of yourself. Expect to talk about your history, your internal and external battles. There will be times when your therapist brings up things that challenge you to reflect on things you have been avoiding until now, or on less flattering things about yourself, to the point that you mistake it by not liking your therapist instead of not liking what they are saying. Give yourself sometime. Remember, the challenges we are facing now are sometimes the responses of something that happened to us in the past and how it has led us to be more complex. Let yourself go with the flow.
>> Your work outside therapy room.
Working on yourself outside your therapy sessions is very important. Taking notes or journaling after your therapy session will help you get the most out of the therapy. Make notes things you forgot to talk about, issues you feel needs to be revisited, what all you have covered so far, things you found difficult to talk about, the changes that you observe in yourself pre and post sessions. It is best to keep yourself free before and after your therapy sessions, so that you can reflect on your development. Spend some time with yourself.
Going to therapy is the best investment you are doing for your better present and future. With the proper support and guidance, you will walk out with a better understanding of yourself. You will learn skills and tools understand and improve your ability to cope with difficult emotions and situations which will help you and your relationships with others.